(( I am aware that the previous post mentioned blogging from California but I regret to inform you that I indeed failed at writing down anything except my Yahtzee score, however, I did have a splurge of inspiration on the plane ride there and have had it in the notes section on my phone ever since just waiting on the opportunity to post it! ))
Soo... just so you know, I am originally writing this in my Notes on my iphone as I sit in a seat in the air ... Aka flying to California. Haha Anyways...
I am reading a devotional book for Advent and this weeks topic centers around being "small." It opens with a prayer (from Sacred Space: the Prayer Book) asking the Lord to help persist through tedium and to "survive without the oxygen of recognition, praise, and stroking." Instantly I think,"Wow, how pathetic that recognition and praise are considered oxygen to us!" They really can consume our actions and thoughts to a degree that prohibits us from becoming more like Christ.
The Psalm for this week is 131 and, to my surprise, (although this is the 4th day I've read it this week) it mentions the quietness that God talked about in Isaiah 30:15! It's so great! I love being able to connect with David and understand his words whether hurting or rejoicing, praising or questioning. I feel like I am sort of at the place now that he may have been when he wrote Psalm 131 ..."But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me."
Often, I feel that admitting things like I have quieted my soul are prideful or false because we cannot do anything perfect on this earth. But it's verses like these that comfort me and remind me that I am wrong. I can confidently say things like this because I am confident in Christ's work within me. His work does not need justifying, so I should not be shy about what He has done for me or helped me do for Him through the power of His Holy Spirit, so today I can tell you that I understand what David means and can attest that my should has also been quieted. (("...In quietness and trust is your strength." Is. 30:15))
This whole idea of being small goes completely against everything our society shows us daily. Since we were little, it's been about being known, being good at something or just getting attention. Even in the church it can be about who gives the best sermons, who loves the most and who prays the hardest. Pride has the ability to poison even the sweetest things. Pride will never leave our sinful bodies but through the power of the Lord, we can overcome it daily.
Along with Psalm 131, today's scripture reading was Luke 22:24-32. I have read these verses before but not in this context and I am thankful for the understanding I received today! It begins with the disciples asking for Jesus to tell them who was greatest... ehmm... pride, see! ( So don't beat yourself up too much- even Jesus' closest disciples struggled with it!) Reading this and then Jesus' response painted a picture in my mind of frustration. Although I am absolutely sure Jesus has more patience than I do, I couldn't help but want to just stand up and yell at the disciples. After all this time and everything they have heard/seen Jesus do how can they STILL be missing it!?! My goodness people don't you understand that's not what the Lord is about!?! Gaaaaah leeeee. Get over yourselves and listen to what Jesus is saying! Who cares about being the best when you get to spend eternity with Jesus?? Give me that over any kingdom or title!
However, as I am expressing these frustrations, I can picture myself doing the exact same thing as the disciples... How many times Jesus must want to pull His hair out over me! Haha but that is what is so so so sweet about Him. He is patient and kind. He tells us over and over again not to fear and, of course, we forget but that is why He gave us His word and spirit... So we can be reminded as often as we need to. How beautiful it is to have a Savior who loves us more than my mind can comprehend. I get frustrated just thinking about how many times I've missed the point, but thankfully, He doesn't abandon me because of that. He loves unconditionally and although I am sinful, God sees His perfect Son in me. I will choose to die to myself daily so that Christ can live in me.
God didn't say it would be easy... But He does promise that it is good. And you know what is also great? Satan has no ability to act outside the boundaries within which God has confined him... In Luke 22:31 Jesus tells Simon that Satan has asked Him if he can sift (plural you) like wheat... What!? Can't you just picture Satan calling God up and asking permission to sift you as wheat? ... Scary to be lead in that direction. As much as I wish God would say no every time, I am extremely comforted by the fact that Satan MUST go through God before He can actually do anything. I also love reading that Jesus prayed for Simon- He did not pray for Simon to not be sifted but rather that his faith would not fail... what a beautiful truth revealing the presence of hardship but the trust in the Lord's hand holding onto His children through it all. I also love reading about Jesus praying because it shows the weight that prayer holds and even Gods son prays to Him. Our requests and desperate please are not prayed in vain but rather they immediately lift to the Lord's omniscient and ever listening ears.
Sorry this is getting long, but I had these things on my heart and just needed to write them out or I was going to burst!
And I think we are about to land... That's one way to pass the time on a plane!