Transparency

To me, getting my thoughts out on paper or in a blog is almost therapeutic because in a way I am letting the overflow of ideas finally stick to something that I can see in front of me and be able to dissect and understand them better.  It is as if I can relax and realize how stupid something sounds only after I write it down.  I was mainly just thinking this because I wondered tonight if I should keep my blog or not.  Part of me thought how weird it seems to type all this out and not know who comes across it, and then I realized that I really don't care.  There's something about getting your thoughts out and being able to share them with others that completely makes sense to me and helps me to feel like I can explain my head a little better if they see my thought process along the way.  I love experiencing something and then being able to gather all my thoughts about it into my blog so someone close to me can know exactly what was going on in my mind.  I just know that I enjoy reading others thoughts, opinions, struggles and honest words so I figured that it doesn't hurt to be a little transparent myself.  I admire the people who can share their world with others so easily and think that it is a gift to be so honest and down to earth.  Acting like everything is perfect and being scared of someone finding out that you struggle is not healthy, and in the end isn't worth it, to me.  Judgment is overrated and trust me, I am not a stranger to it- I find myself judging and hurting people's feelings way more than I thought myself capable of and it sucks.  We are our own worst enemy and as I talk about things, I realize that I am mainly talking to myself.  It's like I am trying to teach myself these lessons and help myself understand how I should have handled or how I can work through a situation.  Anyways, let me end this ramble and just say I highly recommend keeping track of your thoughts whether it be in a blog, journal, song or whatever - to go back and see how you jumped through some things and grown is extremely neat!