Commitment

       What is it about being the object of someone else's love that makes us light up inside?  I think selfishly at times I even enjoy being loved more than I do loving others... I overheard someone talking earlier this evening about someone who chose a particular lifestyle so they could just find someone to love them. I have also witnessed close friends give everything away including their confidence and morals just to be loved by someone else.  I can't act like I never compromised anything to win over someone's affection, either.  That's all we wanted... to be the object of someone else's affection.  Isn't that crazy? Not really. As a human race we simply are born to be loved and are loved indeed! God loves us wholeheartedly people, we are the apple of His eye and sought after by Him.  I love watching movies or hearing love stories of a man pursuing a woman without letting anything stop him and I just think, "Wow, now that's what I want."  And then I realize that the creator of the entire universe wants me that much.
    I sometimes freak out at commitment.  For example, planning a schedule any more than a day in advance stresses me out because I feel constrained to it and that something else will come up that I want to do at that time.  I have gotten better with this silly mindset since college thanks to the whole "you have to go to class" thing and managing my time has become an easier task as well, however, I still do not like to feel constrained.  This feeling also becomes a problem in relationships for me.  When things get tough... I get out.  I freak out at times thinking about the long run because I know I will be restricted somewhere down the line.  It has been hard realizing this problem and I have some amazing friends who understand me and basically "slap me back to reality."  It is like I had a timer for all relationships and once that timer went off, I had to get out of there because I didn't know how to handle anything past that point.  Moral of the story-I had a hard time keeping in tough with God because I felt like getting closer to Him would constrict me at some point.  My goodness was I wrong.  What I was not taking into consideration was the fact that with Christ we have ultimate freedom! Our relationship with Him trumps anything else because obstacles do not exist to Him.  My mind has trouble conceiving His power but that does not stop me from believing that He can do absolutely anything.  Relationships tend to end because either both people go separate ways or the affection has died or something else but guess what?  God is the same yesterday, today and FOREVER.  That means our relationship with Him will never change from His end and can only grow and get better from ours!  I am still a child when it comes to growing in my faith, but I do know that it is the longest relationship I have ever been in and still going strong =)