So a lot has happened since my last post.
I rang in the new year in New York at Madam Tussaud's wax museum and apparently left a few minutes before Snooki showed up... aw too bad! But overall it was so much fun. I swear that the city felt like Armageddon as time went on because slowly the roads were closing and people kept piling up and running around and police were everywhere and AH it was chaotic! It's one of those "one and done" things in my opinion - new years in Time Square... gotta love it.
It felt like I was home for merely a second before I packed up my things and headed to Guatemala for a 10 day study abroad trip. I would be lying if I said that I was absolutely thrilled to leave again, but somehow I knew God wanted me to go.... and I am glad I did.
The only kind of experiences in 3rd world countries I had in my mind included missions, so trying to understand the difference between my studying abroad as opposed to a mission trip was difficult at first. Then I realized that there really does not have to be any difference at all - I can have just as much of an impact as a Christian on a study abroad trip as I can on a mission trip ... maybe even more. When you go with a church, theres an underlying pressure and presence you give as a "missions team" and whether they are or not, I assume that everyone on my team is a Christian. With this study abroad trip, I had to realize that we are not all on the same page and my faith needs to take a stronger position because I cannot simply hide behind the "mission trip" umbrella. It was exciting and scary at the same time because quiet times or prayer was not mandatory each night... This might sound childish because it's the real world but after going on quite a few church trips, I fell into a pattern that was not necessarily my own.
On the trip to Guatemala I learned more things about myself than I had on any other. I learned that I do better in small groups as opposed to large ones and that traveling really does fill some sort of hole inside of me. I also learned that I am relatively low maintenance? Who would have thought? But one thing that I really did figure out about myself is that I am clueless about life. I think I know about things until they are right in front of me and prove me wrong. I try and plan everything to fit into what I think is the right order of events only to realize that I make more of a mess when doing so. Just when I think everything is going smoothly, something crashes down and I am thrown into the wilderness.
Moral of this crazy thought process that I am trying to convey is that I need to just slow down and live. I have got to stop planning and expecting and pushing things that are simply out of my control. I looked around Chajul, Guatemala and saw women just sitting and enjoying eachother. Little girls were simply brushing eachother's hair, yet enjoying it as if today they were brushing for a special occasion.
After leaving the quaint and peacefulness of Chajul, we were thrown back into city life with the more urban Antigua. Instantly, tension rushed back into my body and thoughts about what I needed to get down when I got back to Nashville were running through my mind. So quickly I let go of that peaceful existence of the people in Chajul. We were brainstorming ideas to help enhance the living of Chajul but part of me wanted to yell "STOP!" just stop- they are perfect just the way they are! Yeah they may not have all the groceries we get from grocery stores or toys from the mall but they are happy aren't they? They are happier than we are let me tell you that. So much of me wants to forget all I own and move to the middle of nowhere and just exist. I feel like we are always trying to accomplish something, when will we finally feel "accomplished?" Everything happens for a reason and God always takes care of us, doesn't He? So why do I freak out about tomorrow? Today is enough and in the end... I will be exactly where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing. Praise the Lord!
It felt like I was home for merely a second before I packed up my things and headed to Guatemala for a 10 day study abroad trip. I would be lying if I said that I was absolutely thrilled to leave again, but somehow I knew God wanted me to go.... and I am glad I did.
Antigua, Guatemala
Chel, Guatemala
The only kind of experiences in 3rd world countries I had in my mind included missions, so trying to understand the difference between my studying abroad as opposed to a mission trip was difficult at first. Then I realized that there really does not have to be any difference at all - I can have just as much of an impact as a Christian on a study abroad trip as I can on a mission trip ... maybe even more. When you go with a church, theres an underlying pressure and presence you give as a "missions team" and whether they are or not, I assume that everyone on my team is a Christian. With this study abroad trip, I had to realize that we are not all on the same page and my faith needs to take a stronger position because I cannot simply hide behind the "mission trip" umbrella. It was exciting and scary at the same time because quiet times or prayer was not mandatory each night... This might sound childish because it's the real world but after going on quite a few church trips, I fell into a pattern that was not necessarily my own.
On the trip to Guatemala I learned more things about myself than I had on any other. I learned that I do better in small groups as opposed to large ones and that traveling really does fill some sort of hole inside of me. I also learned that I am relatively low maintenance? Who would have thought? But one thing that I really did figure out about myself is that I am clueless about life. I think I know about things until they are right in front of me and prove me wrong. I try and plan everything to fit into what I think is the right order of events only to realize that I make more of a mess when doing so. Just when I think everything is going smoothly, something crashes down and I am thrown into the wilderness.
Moral of this crazy thought process that I am trying to convey is that I need to just slow down and live. I have got to stop planning and expecting and pushing things that are simply out of my control. I looked around Chajul, Guatemala and saw women just sitting and enjoying eachother. Little girls were simply brushing eachother's hair, yet enjoying it as if today they were brushing for a special occasion.
After leaving the quaint and peacefulness of Chajul, we were thrown back into city life with the more urban Antigua. Instantly, tension rushed back into my body and thoughts about what I needed to get down when I got back to Nashville were running through my mind. So quickly I let go of that peaceful existence of the people in Chajul. We were brainstorming ideas to help enhance the living of Chajul but part of me wanted to yell "STOP!" just stop- they are perfect just the way they are! Yeah they may not have all the groceries we get from grocery stores or toys from the mall but they are happy aren't they? They are happier than we are let me tell you that. So much of me wants to forget all I own and move to the middle of nowhere and just exist. I feel like we are always trying to accomplish something, when will we finally feel "accomplished?" Everything happens for a reason and God always takes care of us, doesn't He? So why do I freak out about tomorrow? Today is enough and in the end... I will be exactly where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing. Praise the Lord!
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