Gratefulness

Remember how I was so busy and stressed these past few weeks?  Well, part of me thinks the Lord placed Thanksgiving at this point in the semester for the very reason to slow us crazy people down!  Haha  But of course, Thanksgiving is about much more than making sure college kids eat and sleep decently.  This break was wonderful. I went home and got to spend time with my entire family which is not too often now that my sister is in law school and my brother a crazy junior in high school.  I got to sleep more than I think I have ever been able to sleep and ate to my hearts content.  How spoiled can I get?  I laid in my bed last night and even though it is pretty cold in my little townhouse I wrapped my feet around a heating pad, pulled up the covers around me and thought, "Holy crap, I am spoiled."  I know it sounds even annoying hearing those words but really... I was hit head on with the fact that my goodness I am spoiled and bratty and ungrateful more times than I am thankful.  Just when I thought I had a handle on being thankful for what the Lord has provided for me, I find more and more things that I take for granted and forget to thank Him for! Like my sweatshirts and the oatmeal sitting in my pantry.  It's even these little things I have never had to really go without that I forget to thank Him for because honestly, I don't understand what it means to not have them in the first place.  That's how the majority of my school lives, too and the majority of the people who I have been surrounded with my entire life.  Usually, we take mission trips to make us thankful for a clean house and a bed to sleep in but what I understand now is that the people we go to on mission trips don't want our pity or for us to realize how blessed WE are after seeing what we have and they don't, but rather to wake us up and learn from those who are thankful for what little they do have because more times than not they have more joy than us already.  Goodness, I hate being unthankful or being called out for not being grateful.  It is not that I am not grateful for everything I have, but rather I honestly didn't realize that there would be a time where I would not be provided in such a way.  I am so accustomed to having certain things taken care of that when my parents get on to me for being ungrateful, I am reminded that every single thing is a gift, even when it is provided consistently my whole life.  It hurts my parents when I do not thank them for something they have sacrificed or worked hard to give me, and I wonder if it hurts God as well when we do not thank Him for his sacrifice.  If we as humans really want recognition or gratitude for our gifts to others, does God as well?  I know He does not need it, but does He want it?  I am being bombarded with devotions about being thankful... who is that for- God or us?  Maybe it's the act of being thankful that is ultimately for our understanding of what an incredible gift Jesus was for a people who did not deserve it.  Maybe being thankful is not for the giver, but rather for the receiver to understand how valuable the gift really is.  Hm...